Festive Improviser Pillows

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

"It's extra for the stand."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Oh, Christ.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Santa Metal Claus

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

"We had no sherry so I left him some of your dad's home brew instead."

C.P.A.

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Pinata Trophy

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

Disgruntled clergyman opens a 'Natural Selection Box'