Festive Footballer Pillows

'If you expect to get this stuff, you need to work on your ground game.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

Then out in the yard, there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Safe Christmas.

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

Governor of the Bank of England outfit

'No cuts in Medicare!'

'Hey you take that outside.'

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Christmas card access

Xmas

Santa playing golf.

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

Carolling

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Congregation

'We've drunk a Christmas toast to my portfolio, now let's drink a Christmas toast to your portfolio.'

Elf

The Bankrupts' Christmas Tree

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'