Festive Footballer Gifts

'If you expect to get this stuff, you need to work on your ground game.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Frosting the Snowman

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

Then out in the yard, there arose such a grito that I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Safe Christmas.

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Governor of the Bank of England outfit

"Smile if you're guilty!"

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

'No cuts in Medicare!'

Christmas card access

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

'Hey you take that outside.'

Xmas

Santa playing golf.

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Carolling

Elf

Congregation

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

The Bankrupts' Christmas Tree

'We've drunk a Christmas toast to my portfolio, now let's drink a Christmas toast to your portfolio.'

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

"No more for him, he has to drive."

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'