Festive Fighter Pillows

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

'Hey you take that outside.'

The Real War On Christmas

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

NSA is coming to town.

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

"When is it my turn?"

Christmas pine

'If you expect to get this stuff, you need to work on your ground game.'

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"It's opening day."

Carolling

"How married are you to 'Merry Christmas' in the title?"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Christmas Newspapers

Congregation

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."

A thanksgiving dinner in a boxing ring

One day in December...

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

"And you must be the domestic partner we refused to extend spousal benefits to."

'It's just not your lucky night I guess - saaaay, hows about we deal fer what's in the sack big guy?!'

"You just finish the drop-off, I'll handle the press."