Festive Rapper Pillows

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Classic Emojis for sale.

'Oh, Christ.'

Safe Christmas.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'No cuts in Medicare!'

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

'If you expect to get this stuff, you need to work on your ground game.'

Xmas

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

'First I'd like to remind you of the true meaning of christmas - profits.'

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

Carolling

Elf

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Congregation

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."