Festive Supporter Pillows

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"I love these old decorations!"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

Meet Santa's entourage

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

The other days of the year...

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Merry Kissmas

A Christmas tree self portrait

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Elf of the Month

Ring those Christmas bells!