Festive Supporter Pillows

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"I love these old decorations!"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Yo ho ho!

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

Meet Santa's entourage

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

The other days of the year...

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

A Christmas tree self portrait

Merry Kissmas

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Ring those Christmas bells!

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Elf of the Month

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."