Holiday Survivor Gifts

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"

'I made it all the way through Thanksgiving... then I made it all the way through Christmas, then I had to go and die in a bizarre gardening accident!'

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

A guide to seasons in the North East

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'I see a lot of that at this time of year...you've got a nasty case of cabin fever!'

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

"Help me! I'm trapped. In a dead end job."

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

How You Know It's Spring...

The corner that Spring's around

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'Tired, depressed, stomach upset, sounds like you're just back from a family holiday.'

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

"I'll be a little late. I'm on a Citi Plow."

"I hope I can make this work, with Thanksgiving just around the corner."

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"Things have been rough since the merger."

"Ok, spring...we're REALLY ready for you..."

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