School Holiday Survivor Gifts

Three favourite words: Back to school.

"I seem to have developed a high pitched noise in my ears!"

"You can come out now, they've gone back to school."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"It's going to be one of those days."

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"It's been a stressful school year."