Festive Warrior Gifts

"I hate Christmas shopping."

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

Dec. 26

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

NSA is coming to town.

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"He said, 'Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?' I thought that meant steer."

U.S Airspace missile detection meets Santa

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

Christmas pine

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

'Hey you take that outside.'

"When is it my turn?"

'I hate Christmas!'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"It's opening day."

Christmas Newspapers

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

'Repetitive strain injury of the eyes?'

The Real War On Christmas

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

One day in December...

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"And you must be the domestic partner we refused to extend spousal benefits to."

"Merry Freaking Christmas. Now get back to work"