Festive Season Warrior Gifts

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Happy Easter

Glyndebourne

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

Skier flying past mountains

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

Can you guess what it is yet?

'I love Spring: As I hibernate through Christmas, I open my presents when I wake up...'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

Groundhog Day.

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

'Hey you take that outside.'

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

Easter Bunny Pushing Father Christmas Out The Way.

"It's his favorite time of year."

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

Your hands are cold...

Halloween next exit. . . Thanksgiving, 27 days. . . Christmas, 54 days.

'This is my favorite time of year!'

'All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names.'

Children's Messages and Lists for Santa Clause

'Would you consider being best man at our wedding?'

During the winter I shovel snow. In the spring I mop the mud. In the summer I sweep up dust and during fall I rake leaves. In the theater of the seasons, I'm always a member of the cleanup crew!

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

'Oh, I retired years ago, but between Black Friday and the internet, nobody noticed!'

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

The other 364 days of the year.

Shopping Days

The Real War On Christmas

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."