Festive Season Warrior Pillows

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Happy Easter

Glyndebourne

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

Skier flying past mountains

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

'I love Spring: As I hibernate through Christmas, I open my presents when I wake up...'

Can you guess what it is yet?

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

Easter Bunny Pushing Father Christmas Out The Way.

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"It's his favorite time of year."

'Hey you take that outside.'

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Groundhog Day.

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

Your hands are cold...

Halloween next exit. . . Thanksgiving, 27 days. . . Christmas, 54 days.

Children's Messages and Lists for Santa Clause

'Would you consider being best man at our wedding?'

'This is my favorite time of year!'

'All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names.'

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

'Oh, I retired years ago, but between Black Friday and the internet, nobody noticed!'

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

The Real War On Christmas

The other 364 days of the year.

Wassail

"Why do they all gain those extra pounds at the exact same time of the year?"