Christmas Warrior Pillows

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Marley had a little lamb

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

Christmas tree exchange

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

North Pole.

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

Holiday Overkill.

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

"When is it my turn?"

The ghost of christmas regifting

"I won't be needing you this year."

Santa Self Esteem.

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

Where Yule Logs Come From.

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

The Bi-Polar Express.

'All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names.'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

'...Hello?...Holidays From Hell...?'

Crumpled pieces of paper form the shape of a Christmas tree.

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

Santas Pulling the Sleigh

Xmas wrapping paper blower.

The dance routine worked better in rehearsals without the hot lights.

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

Dueling Christmas Lights