Christmas Warrior Pillows

"The media says there's a war on Christmas, and St. Nick isn't in the business of losing wars."

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas tree exchange

'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

North Pole.

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

Holiday Overkill.

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

"I won't be needing you this year."

"When is it my turn?"

Santa Self Esteem.

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

'...Hello?...Holidays From Hell...?'

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Mrs. Zegenzahn, I'm an expert on exorcising demons, devils and poltergeists, but insurance representatives? There's no remedy for that.'

The Bi-Polar Express.

'All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call me names.'

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

The dance routine worked better in rehearsals without the hot lights.

Santas Pulling the Sleigh

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

Nate was a bus driver's nightmare for tours that stayed in a different hotel every night.

Dueling Christmas Lights