Festive Precautionist Gifts

santa claus megaphone.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

That one has all the batteries!

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

Yo ho ho!

Cheers

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Maypole

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

Santa-Can at the North Pole.

Elf of the Month

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"It's called being preemptive."

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Cat has unraveled Santa's suit

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

The Devil's advocaat.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

Poinsettia