Festive Physicist Pillows

"I never expected to collide into you!"

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Physicist's Christmas tree

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"I don't believe in you!"

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Bad gifts

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Classic Emojis for sale.

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

DNA Xmas.

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Safe Christmas.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

"It's a party Jim, but not as we know it!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

Festivus poles

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'Reindeer must now be fitted with the government approved CZ1 catalytic converter to reduce methane emissions.'