Festive Economist Pillows

'...do your accounting records show how you give everyone gifts and still stay solvent?'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away."

'With all your exports, the North Pole must have a really bad trade imbalance.'

Profit chart.

"In market news, Holly, Mistletoe and fruitcakes are up."

VAT receipt for sherry and cake awaits Santa

There IS a Santa Claus.

'We would consider a loan under these conditions: more efficient sleighs, lower reindeer emissions, no outsourcing to foreign elves.'

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

"An aluminum baseball bat? Are you kidding? With the tariffs, my raw material costs are up 25%. How about some soybeans?"

"I think I found something in our price range!"

"No so much imported stuff this year - to help our trade balance."

'What's the downturn done to your ho, ho, ho?'

'Sorry Santa we're over budget for 'meeting the dreams of young children' and we won't have funds for 'screams of delight' until 2016 at the earliest.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"A local retail survey shows holiday sales were flat...but the consumer cash meter hit an all-time high...while the holiday confidence index took a three-point dip."

Santa bailout.

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Bad gifts

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor