Festive Annoyance Pillows

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

"I don't believe in you!"

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I hate all holidays!'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Oh, Christ.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Party Scene

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

Elf on the Top Shelf

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

Where Yule Logs Come From.

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"Wanna use the door?"

"Hey you. I can't get in your house because nobody drew a fireplace or chimney. Not my fault, dude. Well, maybe next year. Ho, ho, ho."

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

"I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire' doctor."

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'