Festive Procrastinator Pillows

A Christmas Carl.

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

Do you know the time, Santa?

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

That one has all the batteries!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

Santa-Can at the North Pole.

'Since when does Shamrocks give you an itchy rash?'

Cat has unraveled Santa's suit

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

"I said I wanted a watch!"

'They think I can walk on water.'

Snowball Fight With Santa

"Huge, big thank you, Santa, for recording the office holiday greeting."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

'Regretfully your honour- I had too much to drink at our Christmas party and have forgotten my briefs.'

'They're on to me.'

'Well yeah, I was a jolly old elf until that *6!!# Wikileaks exposed how my operation really works.'