Festive Procrastinators Pillows

'I'm nowhere near ready for Christmas.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

He hurt himself taking out the Christmas tree? But it's February! That's not all, he tripped over the jack-o-lantern!

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

Christmas / " Are you still here, Simpkins ?"

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Don't strain yourself, make two trips.'

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

Ostrich in an hourglass puts its head in the ground.

"I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire' doctor."

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

"I don't want to see Father Christmas, I want to see Cheryl Cole!"

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

"Reindeer?! It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas."

"It's cuz you're fat."

"Quick, make a mess. Company's coming."

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

Ostrich with head in sand.

"It's not that I can't stand the cold - I just hate the holidays."

Workaholic's Christmas Party

Do you know the time, Santa?

'Looks like Harvey's entered his holiday mode.'

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"