Festive Procrastinators Gifts

'I'm nowhere near ready for Christmas.'

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

Christmas / " Are you still here, Simpkins ?"

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

'Don't strain yourself, make two trips.'

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

"You're not ready for school to start, are you?"

Ostrich in an hourglass puts its head in the ground.

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

"I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire' doctor."

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

"Quick, make a mess. Company's coming."

"I'm the spirit of Christmas Present."

"Reindeer?! It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas."

"I don't want to see Father Christmas, I want to see Cheryl Cole!"

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

The Navigator on Christmas Eve

Ostrich with head in sand.

Do you know the time, Santa?

"It's not that I can't stand the cold - I just hate the holidays."

"Remember, if you don't give me what I want, I know where you live!"

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"