Festive Annoyance Gifts

"I don't believe in you!"

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'I hate all holidays!'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'Oh, Christ.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

Party Scene

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"Mom said we shoulda brought the truck...."

"That 'Spirit of Christmas yet to come' comes around earlier every year..."

'Ms Phelps, can you help me? I seem to have misplaced my Christmas spirit.'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

"I'm afraid it's another case of 'chestnuts roasting too near an open fire' doctor."

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'I've got to get away from Christmas... I've got to get away...'

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?