Festive Fear Enthusiast Gifts

'But sometimes when I'm alone it growls,,,'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Chiller Theatre

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Yo ho ho!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

A Christmas tree self portrait

'I get that reaction a lot.'

The other days of the year...

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Merry Kissmas

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Horror writer.

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Back to the Holidays

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home