Festive Fear Enthusiast Pillows

'But sometimes when I'm alone it growls,,,'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Chiller Theatre

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Yo ho ho!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'And that,and that,and that...'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

The other days of the year...

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

A Christmas tree self portrait

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Back to the Holidays

Horror writer.

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"