Festive Freak Gifts

Party Scene

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

A Christmas tree self portrait

The other days of the year...

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

Great Moment in North Pole History

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

Back to the Holidays

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Scary Face at Window

Santa's Second Stringers.

C is for Cracker

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.