Festive Fiend Gifts

'I've got the bill if it's too small.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"I love these old decorations!"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

Meet Santa's entourage

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

A Christmas tree self portrait

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

The other days of the year...

"He's So Your Type."

"That's the answer to 'How long till winter break?' I'm looking for the capital

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Ring those Christmas bells!

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

"It's fondue night!"

Great Moment in North Pole History

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

Santa's Second Stringers.

"I can't wait to put them on."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

C is for Cracker

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'