Festival Fiend Gifts

'No way, I can't stand country and western.' (Farm Aid Rock festival in Somerset.)

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Glastonbury. After.

Prize vegetables.

Mardi Gras

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Southwark Fair.

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Emergency Hipster Beard

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

Pearly King and Queen

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

The dark side of Halloween.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Monks in monastry dancing, "They're high on apostasy again."

The Epsom Derby - Omnibus in Motion

Earth Mother

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

"It makes you look old."

'I love rock festivals!'

"A ticket to the Munich Beerfest, please."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Just fifty miles north of Easter Island...

What if they held a chili cookoff, & nobody came!

Lithium Fair

Pamplona Station