Feng Shui Jokers Gifts

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Frat House Feng Shui

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Artist Painting his Television.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

Feng Sushi

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Third eye

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

"I took your advice."

I love what you've done with the place.

How to avoid a heart attack.

'Oh my God! Call the Feng Shui expert!'

"I'll take this Feng Shui for Cats. And spare me the eye-rolls, please."

Watch for Men Being Supid

'Personal?...No, I assure you, my relationship with God is strictly professional.'

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

'No cup holder?'

A blessing in disguise.

'Anything I can break has to go.'

Seagull humour.

Almost Your Time.

"There was a lot of tension between his ergonomics and his feng shui."