Feng Shui Fanatics Gifts

'Man, that freaks me out I've lived here over a year and every time I come home that lamp's in a different place,'

"Honey! The puppy just placed a new water element on the floor. Do you want me to clean it up or just balance the Feng Shui with a fire element?"

"I knew that book would come in useful one day"

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Cow yin yang spots.

What your house plant says about you...

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Love your feng shui!"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

Frat House Feng Shui

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

Feng Sushi

'To maximize student achievement, the Feng Shui consultant advises one student per classroom.'

'It's definitely a tattoo that I can reflect on in the future.'

'A surgeon operated on the wrong side of the operating room, and is being charged with medical feng shui malpractice.'

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

Feng Shui for Farmers

'Oh my God! Call the Feng Shui expert!'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

"It's hard to trust those Beanbirds. They're always 'up' to something!"

"Feng Shwoops!"