Feline Furniture Protector Gifts

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

Orange Bengal Tiger

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

Fight against theft of endangered species

"...if you don't come on out of there, I'll call the RSPCA."

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"Give it to me straight. Am I on the endangered list?"

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

"Being from a protected species is no free pass for bullying! Stop charging at everything that moves!"

Protection animals

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

"Hang in there! The polar ice cap is melting."