Feline Furniture Destroyers Gifts

'In the interest of saving time, do you have any pre-shredded ones?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

'Don't look at me!'

A Cat becomes the victim of a broken spring in an armchair.

'The butler did it.'

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'We're gonna need a bigger couch.'

'Sorry darling: I'm a great ape, I can use primitive tools, but this is too difficult for me...'

'Telling him he was going to be declawed was a bad idea. He decided to go out with a bang.'

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

Seat Belt

Uses of a Dead Car in History: '...and probably with a reasonably blunt instrument.'

Not complaining, but when do you think your cats will be done sleeping on the furniture?

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"Sorry about the chairs, dear, but I'm desperate for wood chips!"

"I can totally see why dogs do this."

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"If you fits, you sits!"

'Ripping furniture to shreds doesn't turn me on anymore. What I'd like to get my claws on is somebody's reputation.'

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

'Table for two...'

'That's the problem with cats - they can be so destructive.'

"Hey, I'm just making your sofa match your jeans."

"God gave me nine lives and with John Browning's help I'm going to keep it that way."

101 uses of a dead cat: ornament

Cats in police lineup

'Sometimes I think he understands every word we say.'