Fear Tamer Gifts

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'I hear things that go bump in the night.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Getting Rid of the Cure

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'I told you he had a temper.'

'Before a big presentation like this, it's imperative to have all your meds in a row.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'This isn't working at ALL... maybe I should just forget the marriage counsellor scene!'

'He micromanages all our trades.'

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.