Farming Humor Fan Gifts

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

A sure sign of rain

Dedication to excellence....

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"I'm an enigma!"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

'I think you need an electrician here, rather than a veterinarian.'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

'Thanks girls: Boy it's cold today!'

I'm WAAAY beyond Kinder Surprise!

'Gee, at these prices you'd think they would tie the feedbags on for you.'

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'He always gets that way when I ask him about our retirement plan,'

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

Clancy Strip: Out of Business

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"Is that a new watch?"

"It's the fabled Mongolian Herd!"

Her Poo-Fu is strong!

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

"You call it milking, I call it groping."

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

'Miaow??'

'Hey Dad, we learned to speak French at school today, listen: Cocorico!'

'Hey Phil...Thanks again for that little barnyard speech you gave last week about Farmer John's unimpeachable character and good intentions...'

"At this point in my life I'm just happy being unprocessed meat."