Farmer's Escapade Gifts

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Cow's straw

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

Tractor Racing

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"Mum, I've heard that Faberge eggs are very valuable. What kind of animal is a Faberge?"

The Rural Bidet...

French Animal Noises.

"In my day I played a pretty mean cowbell."

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

You, my friend, are going to have a great Christmas party!

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

The Ox Factor

Cow's Surprise Party.

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

"Bad news, Beatrice - I struck oil on the south forty."

Turkey Owl

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

'Is that why they call this a 'cold snap'?'