Farm Life Enthusiast Gifts

"Do you ever ask yourself 'humanely raised' for what?"

'He got some bad grass in the seventies.'

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

Pulled Pork Farm.

Mobile Veterinary Unit.

Crossword Cow.

'Bless You.'

Ahhh, it's great to let off steam now and again!

"The farm is only looking for someone part-time, no more than 80 hours a week."

'Being a dairy-cow is quite an easy job, but it's the dawn start every single day that's hard to get used to.'

'He's at that tender age between veal and filet mignon.'

'They've hired a personal trainer! Now we'll never fatten them up!!'

Cow Chips Happen,

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

'WE better get out of here. That bull is going to be mad when he comes back down.'

'Dad, how long has Mom been working for us?'

"Yes, we had the same father, a holstein. We are half-steins."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'Mom, that's not fair! Dad got an apple and I don't!'

"Do you think this grass is organic?"

'That's true...but so are the worms.'

'Is she having a particularly severe contraction, Doctor?'

'I can't get the cap off!'

A cow on a drip.

'Doc, you're the only vet I've seen who can palpate both ovaries...

'It's for you.'

'I don't have any cash flow problems. It all washed away in the flood.'

'I bought myself a freezer and stocked up on frozen fresh grass: No hay for me this winter!'

Standup comic doing pro-bono work in isolated rural area.

If anyone offers you a headswap, just say no!

'Getting these old cows gastric bypass surgery cost too much money Marge.We're gonna lose the farm for sure now!'

"Old MacDonald had a dream."

'Don't try to spare me, Doctor. If it's serious, I want to know the truth.'

Busy Vet.