Farewell Philosophers Gifts

Goodbyes are never easy. I used to believe that too.

Thinking Gears

Emergency Phone.

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"They're very time-sensitive."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

The first 'outside the box' thinker.

Self Checkout

Balding Autumn Tree.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Mall of ages

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'I inherited therefore I am'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Lost and forgotten department

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

'I didn't realize you were so fond of it, Sir Isaac.'

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

Statue Farts.

A long way towards retirement...