Death Philosopher Gifts

"They're very time-sensitive."

The Graveyard of Ambition.

Dice with death.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Apocalliptical

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Mall of ages

Balding Autumn Tree.

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"I don't think so."

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

Grim Reaper Checkout

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

God is a spider.

"Posthumously yours."

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

A stranger in paradise.

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

'Edward turned on the bathroom light only to find his father staring back at him.'

Welcome to Heaven

"...and tell him it's fairly urgent."