Death Philosopher Gifts

"They're very time-sensitive."

The Graveyard of Ambition.

Dice with death.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

The Best Laid Plans

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

Apocalliptical

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Mall of ages

Balding Autumn Tree.

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"I don't think so."

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

God is a spider.

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

Grim Reaper Checkout

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

"Posthumously yours."

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

A stranger in paradise.

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"The senior moments don't freak me out as much as the 'Death in Venice' moments."

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

'Edward turned on the bathroom light only to find his father staring back at him.'