Fantasy Job Seekers Gifts

"I'm sorry but I only employ elves..."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

Now hiring.

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate. I'm flexible on location - I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume. I don't think you understand what that mwans. The octopus got the job because he's a great multitasker!

"This is what you call doing what you love."

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

Mice Cutting Up A Cat's Tail

Cinderella

"Dad, now can I be a fireman?"

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

"On your resume, under Achievements, what do you mean by 'inspired by actual events'?"

Lying on your CV

'We need someone to walk the plants.'

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

Australasia.

Artist paints over his view of a factory

Twin Broom Witch

'Dude, I thought you said they would be topless!'

Can You Dance?

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'I like you, Zog, what you lack in polish, you more than compensate for in clout.'

'I'm looking over your resum?, there is one opening we have for you.'

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'

'You seem qualified. Now I just need to ask you some really embarrassing questions about your private life.'

'Listen, guys - why are your reports just about numbers? Why don't you write more about good looking actors, strapping princes, hair cuts and cute animals?'

'He doesn't look as though he's fighting for his life to me, doctor . . .'

Xanadu

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."