Dream Job Seeker Gifts

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Dad, now can I be a fireman?"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"This is what you call doing what you love."

"No, finance is not my passion but unless you have a warehouse full of nachos I'm resigned to this not being a passion job."

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

'I could do that!'

"What would you have been if you could have been anything but a failure?"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

How are you at decision making?

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Do you have any other skills?

In and Out Sourced.

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"I don't like your application."

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'