Fans Of Anthropomorphic Humor Gifts

A woman referred to me as "you people" last night � I hate that expression. As a wolverine, I have mixed feelings about it.

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I'm a monster."

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

Split the last one?

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"The true story"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"You need a hobby."

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

"No, this is the elephant."

Les Fleurs Du Mal

"Don't even think about it."

"He wants to know if we've got a more dog-eared copy?"

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

The Itchy Back

"They're not home.."

Why the long face?

She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture...

"Happy birthday! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" "I wish you'd find a man."

'I had a tough childhood. I was abandoned on a doorstep.'

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'