Anthropomorphic Aficionados Gifts

"Hey, Honey. What's with the long face?"

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Hair spray"

"I'm a monster."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

Split the last one?

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"No religious nuts!"

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"You need a hobby."

"Life is pointless."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"The true story"

"No, this is the elephant."

"What's so funny about two monkeys in a bar?"

A rabbit wearing slippers with a human face on them.

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'