Anthropomorphic Aficionado Gifts

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Hair spray"

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"I'm a monster."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"No religious nuts!"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You need a hobby."

"Life is pointless."

"The true story"

"We grind our own catnip."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"No, this is the elephant."

A rabbit wearing slippers with a human face on them.

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'