Anthropomorphic Animal Aficionado Gifts

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

"Do me next."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Meow"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I'm a monster."

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

"The true story"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"We grind our own catnip."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Goes To College

Les Fleurs Du Mal

"He wants to know if we've got a more dog-eared copy?"

"They're not home.."

The Itchy Back

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

"Happy birthday! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" "I wish you'd find a man."

She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture...

Why the long face?

His worst nightmares had come true.

'I do great voice-overs.'