Anthropomorphic Animal Aficionado Gifts

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

"Do me next."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Meow"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"I'm a monster."

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Why ‘Black Death’? Why not ‘Furry Death’?"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"The true story"

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

"We grind our own catnip."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

Les Fleurs Du Mal

The Itchy Back

"They're not home.."

Why the long face?

"Happy birthday! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" "I wish you'd find a man."

His worst nightmares had come true.

She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture...

'I had a tough childhood. I was abandoned on a doorstep.'