Anthropomorphic Animals Fan Gifts

"Blow a condo deal and move back in with the pigs."

"I asked mom to bring back krill for me and foot deodorizer for you."

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Meow"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"I'm not worried about you, Henley. You'll land on your feet."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Split the last one?

Happy birthday Darling!

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"We grind our own catnip."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Life is pointless."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Looks like some kind of laser beam. No sign of the murder weapon."

"You need a hobby."

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

"No, this is the elephant."