Anthropomorphic Art Enthusiast Gifts

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I'm a monster."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Goodness, grandma. What big deposits you made in offshore accounts without declaring it."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

Split the last one?

"No religious nuts!"

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"You need a hobby."

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"The true story"

"We grind our own catnip."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

"No, this is the elephant."

"They're not home.."

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

The Itchy Back

"Don't even think about it."

"He wants to know if we've got a more dog-eared copy?"

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"