Anthropomorphic Art Lover Gifts

"You should meet my wife. You'd like her."

'Let's go here. They do mice good.'

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"I'm a monster."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"No religious nuts!"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"The true story"

"We grind our own catnip."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"You need a hobby."

"No, this is the elephant."

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

"They're not home.."

The Itchy Back

"Don't even think about it."

"You tend to clam up, Wally, you need to come out of your shell!"

Les Fleurs Du Mal