Anthropomorphism Aficionado Gifts

"I had no idea 'No Contest' is the equivelant of a guilty plea."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

Why the long face?

'Yeah, so our parents used to run together... what of it?'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"She's a miniature."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I'd like you to see an Anthropologist.''

"I'm a monster."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

I'm With Stooped

"Hair spray"

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

Split the last one?

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'