Fans Of Anthropomorphic Humor Pillows

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I'm a monster."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"Ahhh, right there. Right there!"

"We can't invite the cats and mailman and not invite the squirrels, right?"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

“Face it, dear...you’re a chair. You’ll see a lot of ends, but very few beginnings.”

"You need a hobby."

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

"The true story"

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

"No, this is the elephant."

Les Fleurs Du Mal

"Don't even think about it."

The Itchy Back

"They're not home.."

She was this tall with curly blonde hair Officer: She ate our porridge and broke our furniture...

Why the long face?

"Happy birthday! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" "I wish you'd find a man."

'I had a tough childhood. I was abandoned on a doorstep.'

Attack of the Really Lame Stick Figures

Toupee shop showcases hairy head covering.

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

"I had no idea 'No Contest' is the equivelant of a guilty plea."