Fan Of Mystical Humor Gifts

"Madam Zelda passed to the other side last week. Would you want me to get a message to her?"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Arresting Adam and Eve

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

"In heaven there are no trees."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

"All I'm saying is, why do we always have to sit on just one side of the table, all bunched up?"

"Vous voyez quoi pour l'avenir de l'humanité?"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Man asking lady if she cares for him

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

Wrong Address

"And, if you don't have an attorney, we have millions of them."

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

Priest

'Madam Zelda sees all'

Madam Mae: Fortune teller - Fortune 500.

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"Don't sit under the Bodhi Tree with anyone else but me."

"You're going on a very short journey."

Saturn wearing a NRA hat and eating his own child