Fan Of Celebrity Chefs Pillows

'Hello - is that Jamie Oliver?'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

How I met your mother

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Road Kill Cafe.

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'

'Just call me Delia...'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'