Celebrity Chef Fans Pillows

Gordon Ramsey Ahead road sign.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

How I met your mother

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

'Just call me Delia...'

Emeril Lagasse

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"