Celebrity Chef Fans Gifts

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

How I met your mother

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'I'm afraid we only publish A list celebrity cookbooks.'